top of page

Fuckin Fallocy

Updated: Oct 25, 2022

So many roads lead you there but only one can lead you here. Where is here? You’re not even sure. You have no idea how you got here. You have no idea where you’re at. Lookin around it’s a dazing, spinning, and making you dizzy. You’re not sure it’s making you sick but you feel flutters in your stomach. It seems as if the caterpillars have finally come from their cocoons to swarm your stomach. You know why, today is the day you’ve been waiting for. Today is the day. One more time today is the fucking day. You’ve felt the same way for and inconceivable while, holding it back. With every second expecting it to snap in your face like a surgical tubing slingshot. She finally said I love you. She’s falling. She’s falling right into the trap. Now for the next step, how can you fuck her life up… Well, start somewhere and work from there.

Okay, You didn't really know until you were on your own. Now that you are alone is pretty plain to see. You “love” her even though you're not quite sure what love means. You’ve said I love you a few times in your life. Knowingly lied for most. You know you always have to say it to your mother, even if you don't feel this way. Even if she doesn't make you feel anything but overwhelmingly thankful. You know you have to say it and love your family, and they’re dear, but still. You know some of your friends love you and you hold them equal, you just don't feel this, you don't feel this love thing. You said it a couple times to throw other women off. It always works well, it’s easy to act. Even if you were a terrible liar the word itself covered up your acting flaws. It was like one of those movies that isn’t funny but people still laugh at or tell you it is because it has that special “ring” to the name. Like, Adam Sandler’s *Insert title from any of his last dozen movies here*. You know what I’m talking about, I mean right? Saying it, but knowing it never really truly held value. It was like the US dollar. Holding it, having it, and the reassurance made everybody feel great but it was worthless without being backed by gold or an understanding of what love actually was.

Fuck, it was Starwars… Used to mean something but after the modern day overuse, remakes, and putting it everywhere it shouldn’t be, it was give or take. It was once die hard for almost everybody, not now. Now that you have her though, you're positive you know what something feels like. Is there a better word for all this one that means what "love" used to? There's something that keeps you up at night wishing she was there. Something that you look for in every female interaction but don’t see in anybody but her. This something is added to the girl you didn't think could be cuter. It's the something that puts her on the same level as your best friend, your dog. The animal you’d sacrifice your life for and couldn’t even hear him say thank you. Okay maybe not to the level of your dog but close, really fucking close. Pretty sure you love your dog, so you're pretty sure you love her. Even if it makes you feel different like you've never felt before. Even if it doesn't sound like the movies, or the TV shows, or the books naked scene that can be poorly written but leaves women drooling *cough, fifty shits of gray, cough*. Even if it doesn't move you in the same way the only other woman you've ever loved did. You're pretty sure this is what it supposed to feel like. This is the tree you know will grow. You’re pretty sure this is okay. For always fighting different battles in relationships, it’s nice to be at peace for once. it's not only how much you touch me, It’s the way you’ve touched the rest of the people we’ve seen, my family, my friends, and most importantly that damn dog. Okay, so next question...How do you tell her?

25 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page