I am tired of looking at people who consider their life unhappy. It’s fucking not, you are. I could sit here and tell you about the silver lining on each one of the shit sculptures life gives you as an award, but I won’t. First, let’s start with why you’re unhappy. Is your ego overshadowing your ability to make rash decisions? Are you obsessing over some unobtainable nonsense spewed out and stuck in your mind by the sewer of unreal reality TV? Are you dying to have the next big flashy thing so you can be a well-bedazzled lump of bleakness? You could just be a millennial, bored to death because you’re not famous and every three seconds of your life doesn’t flood your minute attention span with three minutes worth of dopamine. You could be the same thing and a Gen Z, except you're probably offended too. (Gotcha' Bitch!) I’m sorry you are attracted towards consistent entertainment with zero effort. There is one fix for all this and it’s more realistic than you quitting Twitter, stopping the booking of faces, and holding back on the insta-joint scrolling for a split second.
Now that I have your attention on how to be happy, let’s look at exactly how that can be done. So let’s start with the obvious. So besides stopping your nagging and wishing on your own mediocre life, you need to see the details of what makes your different from the ones you desire. So once you have seen the details get off your lazy fat ass and get moving. Now I am not saying you are fat if you are unhappy, but a square is a rectangle, a rectangle just isn't always a square. Hell, I don't even know who's reading this, or if any one ever will. I wouldn't dare tell you how to get yourself into shape or tell you that will make you happier, but that’s why your here isn’t it?
It's not just getting up to go workout, it’s getting up to go do anything. Don’t be restless when you're coddling the pillow wondering how the Kardashians have it so much better. Go out and do something about it. Now I’m not saying go out and shoot a porno to try and make yourself famous. Unless that’s what your heart desires. Then it’s a good luck, Godspeed, and God bless your Kids. I’m saying even if you try to make your life better and you’re stuck on a treadmill, it all starts with the work you put in. It’ll feel better either way and when you put in enough work you can see your life change. That, or you realize you're on a treadmill and it's time to get off, and fuck, look at all the work you put in.
Enough of that soft shit, we’re making you happier. So if you’re finally off your ass, and actually willing to move, I have another recommendation. My recommendation is to stop trying to be happy. If you keep chasing the two hummingbirds of love and happiness you’ll never catch them. However, if you sit your ass down and focus on them as little as possible, they will fly right within an arm’s reach. In the most delicate effervescently enthusiastic manner they come to you. So how the hell do you do that since every person since first grade has told you how happy they are, what makes them happy, and how to be like them? You don't listen, and if you do that's how you start depression. Well, I’m glad you asked. You do this by killing your ego but boosting your confidence. Shoot one up like Barry Bonds going into game seven. Shoot the other one right in the side of the head before he can mutter another word. What ever you do, don't get them confused. How the hell can you do that you ask?
Well, it turns out I’m a psychopath. But for you, imagine you are trying something for the first time. You aren’t gonna tell yourself you can’t do it, or you won't get it done. Now even if you build the best whatever the fuck you were trying to build, you think there is somebody that can probably do it better right? If you don’t, you’re stupid and I don’t know how you made it reading this far. Shouldn’t you be blissful if you’re that ignorant? You're not the best at anything the first time are you? That's my point. Treat every time like it's the first time. Know you can always do it and always do it better. Get into a flow state letting your mind float into it's best position. If it's your first time and you get the best positions, don't quit there. You know how much better you can be? Anyway, not the point…