So how often do you feel like you’re the only one in the room with a good idea? You know the kind of next-level idea where you have to talk past these conversational killing walls that we build around ourselves. The kind you always want to have but for one reason or another you feel like you can’t. These other people don’t like to get out of their comfort zone, that’s probably why we have these conversational rules that restrict where we can go. You don’t always build walls to keep other things out, sometimes you wanna keep everything in.
You know what it feels like to deny yourself in front of a group of people. This is kind of frustrating, right? It’s working on a group project or with a team where you can’t get a word in to explain why you should use all the work you’ve just done, but then the group will use your work either way. It is like playing the devil's advocate just to see the other side. Which I do, every time I’m in a group or room with people who don’t have good ideas or any time.
If you were to observe the last fifty conversations you’ve been a part of, there will always be a couple of people dominating the conversation. For better or for worse it always ends up this way to a degree. Some like to hear their own voice. Some want to express their opinions or thoughts on one of their well-versed subjects. Then there will always be people that want to express all of their feelings about every subject that comes up. These kinds of people are everywhere. I used to be one of these kinds of people, I still am all too often.
So, do you ever find yourself in the midst of this, unable to share the wisdom that you could expel upon these people that won’t stop talking?
Congrats! You and I are now on the same page. Now start playing the devil’s advocate for a little joy.
Laugh all you want but I have been displaced in thinking I’m the only one this happens to. It happens to a lot of us, we’re everywhere, and to my knowledge If you have been here you’d probably figured by now feet smell, and you need to stop sticking your foot in your mouth.
Well turns out I have been known to be that guy before too. I have been known to be about every version of a person under the sun, but almost no matter what version I would be answering questions as fast as they could be asked. Hardly ever getting what was deemed as a "right" answer.
While I’d love to sit back and listen to others I don’t seem to bite my lip as often as I’d like. I’m working on it. I mean but look at all these people I can help by showing them all they’re doing wrong and holding incorrect. “No, you fuck-stick, I don’t care what you believe but you can’t say quantum physics is your God at work when they say free will and the guys in Cambridge say determinism”, Jesus. Be the DA, see the other side, and compare the two. Both of you are probably more wrong than right, but someone may be closer to the relative truth. The objective is a fantasy.
In a perfect world, I would like to only give my advice to those who ask. I would like to be called upon when someone needs an opinion they can’t, wouldn’t, or don’t get enough of. Unfortunately, people don’t like to be wrong as often as I am right. Call me narcissistic. It’s not narcissistic to point out my reasoning powers standing above others, if and when they do. It may even be reasonable to ask the opposing side if they’ve heard of cognitive dissonance. Seriously, please try to vent that out to me, about me being wrapped up in me, it’ll work so well. *Bites tongue* “So well”
My goal is to listen to more of the conversation than I am a part of. Listening to other people dominate these conversations adds to the resolution in my own head trying to figure out exactly what route of response is best. I didn’t like being that guy in these conversations. It just hurts to see others fail where they can be helped.
A point of view won’t change as much as a past experience.
I have even stopped engaging in ANY conversation where the answer is opinionated and or relative. Pragmatism in conversation is one of the most powerful pieces. (Fight me, Soros, you're doing it wrong.) This allows someone else to respond to what’s being said. And, I gotta tell ya, the responses have been interesting and different from what my response would entail.
It sounds odd, but simply listening to other people, it’s given me a chance to stop and actually think about what my response would be a little bit. That was all sarcasm. I meditate every day. That shouldn’t sound odd, new, or unreasonable to you. If it does we need to talk about what kind of exercise you do. You seem to be missing out on the mental aspect of it. Every religion, strand of science, and the not-so-common sense says it’s the best thing to do for your body, mind, and whatever their beliefs on souls are. Some people even say they feel smarter because they haven’t been sharing so much and so willingly. I think these people are, *Bites tongue*.
In all honesty, it helps with the emotions loaded in responses that not a lot of people realize are there. Talk to any woman for five minutes and whatever she complains about, try to bring it back into a positive light before the conversation ends. See what I mean? Men would also be this emotional if all men knew what emotions were. (Boom roasted!) This only happens for about half the population (statistically). But with no immediate response and a half second to sweep that pile of shit you call thoughts together, the reasoning takes over a lot more control. The deep breath you wish other people would take a little too often? You can have that if you hold a little more back.
You might feel like the smartest person in the room that gets no opportunity to share. That’s okay. If you feel like that either get the fuck off your high horse or get the fuck out of that room. Everyone knows something you don't know.
If you need to be encouraged for the sake of not thinking you're smart, I would encourage you, but what’s it even gonna do for you? Don’t be discouraged about it. Statistically, you’re not as smart as you think, there’s almost always someone smarter around, and unless you have been told all your life how smart you are compared to other extremely intelligent people you’re not one of the outliers. THAT’S OKAY! Trust me it’s coming from an outlier (that's not smart). Just shut up.
The act of silence is the very thing that is keeping most people from being the stupidest in a room, why won’t you let it keep you as one of the smartest? While those people speaking up all the time seem to be enlightened individuals, it’s because you simply haven’t had an opportunity to share your thoughts.
That’s why I write. I can talk about the most controversial things and make sure that my words are the sharpest and most cutting-edge they can be. I feel like I can share anything. If you disagree, you have the freedom to say so. You can write me back. You can not read it. You’re probably wrong, but why don’t you finish reading all this first and find out?