This isn’t just a subject one of my best friends gave me to write about. It's a real-life event for the most part.
After you come out of your winter hibernation state and before you’re blindsided by bikinis in the summer, you look for somebody who’s also in the same boat as you. Not literally in a boat with you, that would be a summer hook up. The same situation. The thing with the spring is you are much more attracted to the first few girls you see. As time continues onwards the attraction towards each individual dissipates as the number passing by grows. I can’t say the same for women, but I imagine it’s hardly any different.
Some people set roots like a growing tree. others, they continue to blow by like a tumbleweed or a bad escort. The thing is this is the first sober spring I’ve had in more than a while. While most of the time I am looking for the next pint to pursue at this point this year I am rebutted with realizations. Not only do I have to figure my life out, I have to do it without my companion crutches clasping my hand to walk me through the day to day life. While most intoxicants just help me brush off the absurd and obscenely stupid comments at least one of them has been holding me in check. The weed was fun back when I could smoke every day to achieve the stoner level for the sake of avoiding sobriety, but once there I realize not only how fucked I may be in life, but how fucked I am in life. As the time passes and the flowers start to bloom with the showers I realize my mentality is lacking a certain power.
The spring fling for most is an attractive absent minded relationship not worth keeping intact once other options arrive. While some decide to ride it out until the end of summers sun-streaked days. If I had ever had a spring fling I would tell you right here exactly how it is going to go down. The truth is I haven’t had one and I have never planned on having one until this year. Unfortunately, my first spring fling will be with sobriety. The part that hurts me the most is how bad I fucked up. Not on the episodes that lead me to this point, there isn’t a lot I could do about that. The part I know I should have done differently is yet to be determined. I have this aching feeling of crazy coming on. I can feel my sanity slipping away through the bars in the cell of my mind. The peak of my persistence was sadly long before the real sediment of life had set in.
I am not sure how long my spring fling will last, and I’m hoping by the end of this wretched streak It ends better than it started. Then again I have said that about too many things just to watch them burn in a self-fueled fire. I can wish my spring fling was just another hopeless romantic story that I could press on for years, months, or weeks to come, but It makes no difference in the ground I cannot gain. I have at women in mind, men at my side and Jesus to back me up for this disaster we can see coming. I hope one day to look back and see this as the lowest valley I have sunk to. Then again I hope to one day with the fucking lottery. While I don't think this will happen and this is a turning point battle, I am fighting for the best outcome. I am prepared for my spring fling with sobriety.